Rilian's journey
by Eosneve
Summary: He used his spurs to urge his steed onwards, because the fear of seeing his father was great, but the fear of not seeing him was so much greater... SC: Rilian is riding to meet his father before he dies.


This story is inspired by an Italian song ( _Il viaggio,_ by Claudio Chieffo) that would fit everyone who was lost and is found. In my story it just happens to be Prince Rilian. These are his thoughts while he's riding to meet his father, and Jill and Eustace are still asleep, in the end of Silver Chair.

A special mention for **Wildhorses1492** : thank you so much for all your fics, you're a Muse!

Note: the translation is mine, so not perfect.

Disclaimer: nothing is mine. Narnia belongs to C S Lewis and the quotes to C Chieffo.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 _Il sole del mattino mi trovò sulla strada_  
 _a rincorrere il tempo che avevo perduto_ (C Chieffo)

 _(The morning sun found me on the road, chasing the wasted time)_

While the sun cheerfully rose, a lone rider on a black stallion was already swiftly traveling at a gallop, his gaze far away and pensive. The morning air was biting and he had no cloak, but he didn't seem to even notice. The running seemed desperate, as if the man knew he would never be able to arrive in time, and yet he ran as swiftly as he could, enveloped in his grim thoughts and regrets. His head was twirling.

What if he had listened to Drinian? What if he had not bound his old friend to secrecy? What if he had talked to his father about that woman? What if the witch had not been there that night? What if...? So many questions and no answers...

He had been young and bold, then, and considered himself the master of the world. He had been Narnia's prince... No, he sternly corrected himself, he still was Narnia's prince. But there was a subtle, different hint in the way those words (Narnia's prince, he mouthed) had to be pronounced: not with pride and self-confidence, but humility and responsibility. He had a duty and this time he would not fail his family and his people. Why did it take him so long to learn? Those words (Narnia's prince, how strange)... From now on, he would always pronounce them in the same way he had said them to his three brave saviours, as a matter of fact.

Rilian looked down at his horse, a black horse. He thought of Coalblack and felt numb, but this was not Coalblack and he was free, at last. This time he was not forced in a black armor. He appreciated the wind in his hair. This time there was not a witch by his side, keeping him in her power and preventing him from doing his rightful duty.

Of course, at that time, it had felt good thinking only of his present pleasures and forgetting all the rest. He remembered well the sensation in his brain, as if a delicious mist was in his head. He had spent the days, long empty days, basking in the fake warmth of a fake love by a fake woman. He himself had been a shadow. Honestly, a snake had stolen all his will and courage. He had willingly entered the trap. He had been such a fool in her shrewd hands!

In the few moments of clarity, he would have been tied and then he would have fallen in the listlessness once more.

He had believed himself definitely out of the equation, then: no point in keeping fighting...

He had been very mistaken.

His thoughts changed direction as he spotted the castle, his father's castle, his family's castle, his home. It was a wonderful and joyful sight, a balm for his hurt heart. He hoped his father would come back in time to see him and, most of all, welcome him. Never mind that, he firmly stated. He would have been happy to see his father anyway. Actually, he would have been glad to be just another servant in his father's house, if this meant he would have been forgiven. His duty to take care of his people could be accomplished in so many ways... If this was Aslan's will, so be it.

Once again he thought of his father and hoped he would not be too late: had he disappointed him forever? Would he ever be able to regain his trust back?

He couldn't remember his parents so well: just a fond smile, a merry laugh, a close hug and most of all the wonderful feeling of being truly loved.

This last thought made him eagerly urge the horse, a tear in his eyes...

... Because the fear of seeing his father now was great, but the fear of not finding him alive anymore was so much greater that his heart clenched.

He used his spurs to urge his steed onwards, once again.

At last, he arrived. He sighed and dismounted. It was time.

The old king was being carried in a bed by four knights.

Rilian, his heart bleeding, approached the bed and dropped to his knees.

"My king... My father" he whispered, tears in his eyes. He wanted to say more, but failed.

"Thanks to the Lion! Welcome home, my son" Caspian weakly muttered, understanding his dear son's unsaid words, his eyes warm and loving.

This was all Rilian needed. Grateful, he embraced his father, securely wrapped by his father's loving and welcoming arms.

There were so many things Caspian needed to say: how he loved and was proud of his son, how there was nothing to forgive, how he had prayed for this moment to come, his happiness when Aslan had told him they had found the prince... But there was not time anymore. Narnia was in Rilian's good hands and Rilian himself, his precious son, was in Aslan's perfect paws.

Just before dying, Caspian looked at his found and lost son and smiled.

* * *

 _... E ora voglio con Te continuare il mio viaggio_ (C Chieffo)

 _(... And now I want to continue my journey with You)_

"Why are you crying, Rilian, son of Adam? Do not weep for the dead king or mourn his loss (1), because he is very alive and happy in My reign and both of you have Me at every step of your journey and so do all my children"

"Hail, Aslan. I know and I want to face this new path with You, by Your side, but I feel so..." Rilian responded.

"Do not fear, beloved one, I know your loss, your pain, your loneliness. They are mine as well and I can't blame you, but know this: you are not alone, you are never alone. If you have Me, you have everything and even more because I am infinite and you can't add anything to infinite. The sum of infinite plus any numbers is still infinite"

The wisdom and truth in these words struck the soon-to-be king.

"Thank you, Aslan"

"You'll always have my support, if you'll seek it"

Aslan's golden eyes were warm and full of endless, absolute, pure love and Rilian wished he could contemplate them forever.

"Soon, my child. Soon"

The good Lion answered with a fond, knowing smile.

* * *

On the day of his official enthronement, Rilian caught Aslan's encouraging gaze, and a new hope and peace fulfilled his heart and soul. He remembered Aslan's comforting words: he was His beloved child. He looked at his father's glittering crown and suddenly the memory of his father was not painful, but sweet.

At last, he smiled, a content one.

The future would be bright by the Lion's side.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(1) Jeremiah 22:10


End file.
